Kaat Bollen, a Belgian psychologist, and sexologist who often comes in the media as a specialist in these matters had to give up her title (even after appeal) by the board of psychologists for being too sexy after a colleague had reported her to the board.
They claim that her outings of being sex-positive and open on topics as sex-toys, a porn-movie she directed, and an occasional artsy nude picture to promote body-positivity on her personal Instagram profile are too provocative and harming the reputation of psychologists as a profession for not having enough dignity.
Out of curiosity, I went to have a look on her page, and what I see is 90% family photo’s and 10% educational sexy related pictures of her job as a sexologist and public speaker around those topics. (And even those are not explicit as the Zuckerburg police are always watching.)
She had to give up her title in order to be free in her expression.
Like, what the actual f***.
Read that again.
She had to give up her title as a psychologist to be free in her expression.
Are we really in 2021?
Many of my friends, colleague therapists, and clients have told me they desire to be more expressive, open, and honest about their personal lives. But they are afraid they will be perceived as less professional, afraid their sexiness would lead people to think they are not intelligent (as it is still perceived women can’t be both and men would be pervs if they did) etc.
To me it’s really outdated and shadowy that therapists should have this seemingly perfect, ‘publicly decent’ and normal life.
As a therapist myself, I choose to be really open about many things in my personal and even sexual life. Even more, I choose to be myself. I trust that the people who choose to work with me appreciate my integrity. And that this authenticity will even enhance my ability to connect with my cliënt so we can meet each other as people.
I still remember to this day that I met with my sister right after I had a therapy session with a couple a few years ago. On that summer morning, I had chosen to wear a long skirt with a sexy feminine top, because I just felt like it. So when she saw me she asked in agony: “Did you really work in those clothes? Where is your dignity?”.
I’m happy I didn’t save the memo that being sexy/feminine/sex-positive/nude, gives you less dignity and makes you less able to help your clients.
Even though most social media is as prude and sexist as this board of psychologists, I will keep on posting any type of posts and pictures when I FEEL IT’S APPROPRIATE. That should only be my decision.
I will keep on undressing with my clients in my workshop ‘Naked Womencircle’, for the healing aspects this ritual brings.
I even have the dream to organize when this whole covid thing is over to host an amazing conscious sexy play-party, where people can learn, experiment, seek pleasure, heal, play, connect…
If all of these things make me less professional to help people with trauma, relationships, intimacy, … Well, please put your lovely self in a time machine and go back to 1843, because this time I won’t back down from being my authentic myself.
Thank you for witnessing my words. I’ll end with a quote from ‘Jet Set Jasmine’ (Businesswoman, mother of three, therapist, gerontologist AND pornstar): “My sex is not what somebody else is choosing for me. It does defy a lot of the messaging around what women should be doing [but] when you can take control of something that has at one point in time had a control on you, then you are in a better space for it. And that is empowering.” Source: https://zora.medium.com/i-can-be-a-therapist-and-do-porn...
An inspiring activist woman I know has put up the idea with the call for all who agree, to dress sexy (whatever that means for you) during their professional Zoom-meetings this Friday. If you feel comfortable enough, go for it I would say!
Love, Minne
(do not use picture without consent)
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