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I LIKE MY LOVE HARDCORE, BUT I PREFER MY PORN TO BE SOFT


Trigger warning! Explicit describing of extreme sexual pornography in the first lines.

And 20% discount code on Erotica festival below



My first contact with porn was the other way around, hardcore straight away. When I was around 16 yo I had spent a lot of time with teenage boys, friends. As a way to impress, or rather bring a shock to each other, they would sometimes play the most horrific video clips when we were hanging out together. The things I since then try to remove from my memory are the sounds and images of a glass jar breaking into pieces in a man’s anus, and something with a woman and an alive octopus in her vulva. I still get nauseous when I think of it.


I know these examples are not representative of the majority of mainstream porn and are found under the darkest shadows of what the internet has to offer (along with non-consensual stuff). But you might understand why it didn’t trigger a desire for me to go out exploring on the internet what else is available on the verge of my first sexual explorations, especially at that age.


My curiosity is usually bigger than my fears, so later I did go out exploring again. I could understand how it could be arousing to people, but it never became something I would go to spontaneously. Very often I would be turned off by the lack of authenticity (too staged or fake), the lack of creativity, and the orgasm-focused/masculine point of view. That together with my research on how a lot of porn is created in unethical and unsafe environments, makes it personally most of the time offputting and shadowy for me, not something I like to include in my intimacy or pleasure.


Do I think mainstream porn is unhealthy?

I often get this question from clients… I definitely think porn is not a great way or in no way sex education. So if people like to use it for enhancing the pleasure in their life and they use it sporadically, I really don’t see an issue with that. It’s like eating chips, you KNOW it’s not good or healthy for your body. But if you really enjoy it eating once in a while, it can not do so much harm. Consuming it everyday and with attachement/deep need… it can start to become something unhealthy really quick.


Now, I’m sharing all of this with you AND, at the end of this blog, I will promote a link to the EROTICA film festival. I can see how some of you might wonder now how that is in the integrity of what I’ve just shared?


Well, I do love watching expressions of Eros, of sensuous life energy moving through bodies and souls. With that being said, the title might also be a bit misleading. I do not only like it soft, it can be wild, kinky, extravagant, or subtle. As long as it doesn’t follow the mainstream and bring the turn-offs I discussed before.

It does arouse me and brings me joy to watch deep intention and authentic pleasure in humans through the tantric play parties I have attended, live. It excites me to learn about people’s sexual and personal growth and witness their evolution, like the diary movie of “Annie Sprinkle’s Herstory Of Porn”. And it inspires me how the artsy approach that for example, Vex from “Four Chambered Heart” brings into the game and how it draws me into the deep diversity and beauty in the visuals. Even a huge arthouse in Ghent (Kunstencentrum Vooruit), got together in December 2019 a multiple-day art festival around ethical porn/sexuality that got the juiciest sex vibes rushing through my veins.


I would LOVEEEEE to see more of that, AND for it to become more accessible to the public. So seeing how Ilsa Fay is bringing forward this amazing festival, I’m curious what they will be sharing with us, and I can’t help but spread the word.

In their own words:

This is the first Erotic International Film Festival of its kind - film and Eros founded in consent & authenticity. The online festival will be hosted over June 10-14 and will include 20+ short films and live presentations by leaders, change makers and facilitators in the porn industry, sacred sexuality and self empowerment.

The core of EROTICA is founded in consensual, authentic and beautiful expressions of love, intimacy and eroticism through film, performance and art … we call this Eros. We love to weave sexuality, sensuality and sacredness with artistic expressions and we love to bring together communities. Our full short film program will be available at the end of April, with further details of performers and presenters.

EROTICA will include:

+ short erotic and sensual films, made in consent + live performances + presentations from leaders in the tantra, sexuality & empowerment, wellness, queer and porn industries


You can NOW already book your ticket and with the code: MINNE20 you get a 20% DISCOUNT on your ticket and I get a little affiliate compensation. Win-win! info and tickets: https://www.eroticafilmfestival.com/


Happy watching!


Love,

Minne


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