I think I met this man around the month of May this year. He’s a father of two teenage daughters, just got divorced when we met and he has an overall stable situation going on in many areas of his life.
The first few times we met, I wasn’t attracted to him in different ways, and he wasn’t to me either. We triggered each other in places that were not necessarily pleasant, I believe we didn’t even like each other so much. Yet, we continued to meet. An energetic force of some sort kept bringing us back.
Picture of us, with him presenting himself as the shadow into my light. (Do not use without consent.)
I was quite attuned with my personal, emotional, and physical needs during that time after spending a lot of time alone during the lockdown and being ill with an autoimmune disease. He started providing me with my most urgent needs of love, mentorship, and practical assistance, and with that exchanging in fulfilling his own needs.
My love and affection for him grew so much, I can honestly say I deeply love this man, even though I’m not in love with him.
Also, his love for me grew quickly into one of the unconditional kind.
Damn people! There is a man who loves me unconditionally. He appreciates me so much that he wishes me everything, tries to create the best environment and situations for me in stability and safety, and still offers me the freedom to explore spiritually, emotionally, and physically with others. He’s the first man EVER to treat me like a QUEEN at all moments and encourages me to be in my most authentic power, but also gives me honest feedback and mirrors when I need to. At the same time when I don’t feel like that queen or Goddess at all, he allows me to be grumpy, sad, and angry, allowing me to take my own space process, without running away or getting scared of my emotions.
WAW. Really. What a man right?
Yup, we are relating. Yup, I love him as a partner. But also yup, I’m still open to dating and meeting my soulmate. And yup, I know an end is going to come to ‘us’.
Many must think, “Minne What the fuck”?
Even though I love this man, I’m not seeing him as the man who’s going to be the father of my future children or the one to start business and living ventures with. Or to build my temple with. And that’s OKAY.
At the same time, I’m still not able to FULLY open my heart to his love. And I also feel that the moment I will allow for that, this will be the moment I will let him go.
He’s not my boyfriend in the traditional sense, he’s not my coach, nor is he just a friend. He’s a MESSENGER. A very important one.
The moment I will allow that message to come in:
YOU ARE WORTHY OF THIS KIND OF LOVE AND TREATMENT IN RELATIONSHIPS !
And I will start to believe this and treat myself like it and not accept less from others. Our relationship will transform, and we might split up again.
But for now, I’ll need him to reflect on me just a bit longer on how he sees me.
While I take in another deep breath to my heart, releasing one more time all the pain, anger, sadness, lack, mistreatment, rejection, and abuse.
Remembering who I am and can be in relationships.
A receiver. A Queen to a King/Queen. * A Queen to myself.
And with this untraditional fairytale, reminding all of you that relationships can have so many different purposes and that eventually, we are always relating to GROW in OURSELVES if we are open to listening to what the other has to offer us. May it be with family, friends, friends with benefits, life-partners, soulmates, business partners … There is no coincidence in who we end up with.
*(Treating someone like a queen: making them feel beautiful, valued, desired, appreciated, and heard/seen. This goes the other way around for how to treat a King.)