Dag Moeke, vaart wel gij krachtige vrouw.
Strong-willed, creative and caring. Some words on how I will remember you.
Life was a serious matter for you. You always aimed high and had more braveness then fear in you to ask for what you wanted and deserved. You had confidence and pride. Your expectations were high for everyone/thing that crossed your path, but I never felt the pressure to be or act differently than who I am with you. You just loved me unconditionally as your granddaughter and that love I will carry with me forever.
Even though in the last years, things became harder for you to remember, you were still able to express yourself until the end with humour that was extremely witty for a woman who's brain was being compromised. You were not afraid to be YOU.
Maybe that's the thing, I realise now more than ever. You can only lose what you have. You had a rare self-awareness for your time of growing up. So you were afraid to lose yourself. Your 'SELF-ness'. Your relationships. Your identity. By a disease that makes you forget all of what you've ever realised in the world and in your mind. (At least, it's my interpretation because you'd not want me to worry about that.)
The caretakers said they have not often seen a woman showing that much resistance to the decay of mind. I understand.
If you've always just learned to ride the waves, you allow yourself more easily to be carried away. But if you taught yourself how to create the waves to bring you where you wanted, and an uncontrollable storm comes on your path... It's so much harder to surrender.
I can see how you both inspire me and how much we are alike.
I wish for all your little cells to transform into beauty, bliss and ease. And that they may merge again with your beloved.
May your soul rest in peace or find a new beautiful adventure. As you like.
I'm grateful to have been jouw 'kleindochter, metekindje, ineke-minneke-poes'.
With love. 💓
