"Should I let him go? Or should I explain how he makes me feel at the moment?"
“Follow your intuition”, says my friend when I ask her.
Hmm. My intuition actually asks to RATIONALISE this for a bit. Because the overdose of serotonin he brings me makes me act from my emotions and my desires only. Intuition could be confused this time with the fantasy reality I’ve found myself into.
If I would be my own cliënt, I would tell myself to be patient.
The situation: I met this man around the full moon of January for the first time. It was one of the most intense first dates I ever had! There was so much deep connection… It felt like coming home to someone, remembering and feeling comfort in his eyes even though we met (in this life) for the first time. But it has been our only meeting so far. I had to leave the city to go to Brussels and Bulgaria for a few week
During these weeks, a few things became clear. First, he felt the same about our date. He was as blown away about it as I was! Secondly, he’s not an online messaging type of guy. Last, I’m way more emotionally invested than him. He’s just healing from his last relationship and not looking for someone at the moment. I literally had a few dreams about him at night where we talk and connect more, so it really blurs my reality on how deep we are both in this.
My self-worth raised a lot in the past few years. So if a guy is not treating me well, I’m stepping out. I deserve a man who likes me for who I am. I deserve a man who’s not only using sweet words but also takes action on them! So if he says a few times he so badly wants to meet me again, he should’ve set a date by now... I’ve been back in town for about 2 weeks now.
But this stepping out, is also a way of protecting myself from hurt and disappointment. I can see that even though I’m telling myself and others, I’m so ready for a new relationship... I’m sabotaging myself in it because of fear.
I don’t give connections time to grow organically. I want someone to be as much IN as I am and if it’s not the case it makes me so insecure and afraid of rejection I break it off myself almost immediately.
But Minne, chill. It has only been a first date. Give him time. Give him space. He might catch up with you emotionally, or he might not. Meanwhile, focus on yourself… Your life is rich in pleasure and growth. Remember that you don’t NEED him. He’s just a topping, like a cherry or chocolate sprinkles, the ice-cream stays sweet and delicious also without him.
<3
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