Are you holding back?

Do you know these friendship-books? It’s something that was popular when I was young, it’s a profile thing for kids on paper where you share personal information and sometimes draw art for each other, then you pass on the book to another kid. Not sure if it’s international…

I must have been 7 or 8 years old when I answered the question in such book on: “What would you like to do when you grow up?”, with: “I want to make the world a better place, bring peace and healing through love”. ( Whoa, wise wild child of mine )

I was just learning to write, so I had to ask the most important people in my life at that time, my parents to help me write it down.

They looked at me and laughed, then asked to pick something more realistic. Because, “Sweetie, you’ll get disappointed with such a big goal. It’s not a job for a little girl to do that. Pick something where you can help a couple of people if you want.” So in the next journals, I answered with, being a teacher or nurse.

I started to believe I could help kids from 9 to 5, and love one partner at home. And yeah, I was disapointed, like my parents predicted. But it was for aiming/loving to small.

Honestly, secretly, my appropriate ambition has always been bigger, better, deeper with brilliant optimism. How can I touch the core of the heart, the planet, impact more people with transformational intensity?

I know I’m a fool for love. I have to admit it. And I’m waiting for the world to catch up.

But not every action and decision I make for myself and others is drenched in love. I am still holding back, playing small. Allowing myself to be guided by my ego, fears, and wounds.

How can I make the choices about the food I’m consuming from a place of love for my body, how can I love and appreciate the grass my feet are touching more? How can I make myself do the first thing I do when I wake up, an act of (self)-love and not one of habit? How can I love my tears and sadness, even more, when my love gets rejected by another?

But when I allow myself to move, play, create from love. There are almost no limits to what’s possible.

So lately, I’ve been waking up every morning with the question: ‘How can I love more today?’

Some say ‘love’ is a drug. Well, I pray it is a medicine and we should all drink up.

Are you holding back on love?

- Minne

Picture by Frédéric Cotman

© Last update in 2020 by Minne Marlo. Proudly created with LOVE.